"The old is gone; a new life has begun!"

As I began to reflect on the stones of remembrance in my own life, my mind immediately returned to September 2012 in Houston, TX. It was my first month as a foster parent and I was seriously questioning whether I made the right decision. Up until that moment, it all seemed like an abstract idea: “Take care of some cute kids for a year? Sure, that sounds great!” But there I was, 2 weeks of training had come to an end, and I was officially moved into the house with 5 kids (all under 6 years old). My experience with kids was limited to the few times I babysat in high school and the summers I spent as a parks & rec counselor. I always loved kids, but this was different. I was totally responsible for these children. I had to parent them. In mid-September 2012, the reality of this was just settling in…

One of my first kids was a 4-year-old boy named Angel. Which is funny, because I remember thinking he was anything but an angel. He was loud, aggressive, and angry. On my first official day as a foster parent, he put another child in a chokehold. He didn’t listen and he screamed in my face when I asked him to pick up the puzzle he had just thrown across the room. My optimistic naiveté about the year ahead had come to a screeching halt as I began to panic about whether or not I could do this. “What am I doing here? I can’t do this. I made a huge mistake.”

That night, after the chaos of bedtime had subsided, I said a silent prayer: “Lord. I can’t do this without you. If we’re going to get through this year, I need your help. I give this all to you. Give me eyes to see Angel how you see him. Help me to love him. Give me patience. Give me wisdom.”

The next day, I woke up with a sense of peace that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I could already feel the patience that I had begged for just the night before. Slowly but surely, with the help of God’s guiding hand, I began to form a special relationship with Angel. I strived to be patient and forgiving and spend as much one-on-one time with him as I could. In the months that followed, I tried really hard to see him as God sees him and love him even when it was most difficult to do so. Before I knew it, I realized I was crazy about this little kid. I remember thinking to myself, “Wait a second, I really love this child like he was my own.” He was my buddy, my little man. I woke up every morning excited about spending a whole day with him! He made me laugh all the time. He was funny, smart, creative, and kind. He was no longer violent or aggressive. The transformation was absolutely remarkable.

Never have I seen a prayer answered so clearly, right before my eyes. God worked through me to shower this child with His love. It was through the power of God’s love that both Angel and I became like new people. I was more patient, forgiving, and loving than I ever thought possible. Angel was no longer full of fear, anger, and uncertainty. God forged a special friendship between the two of us that still blesses me to this day.

As I reflect back on Angel and the progression of our relationship, I see clearly how we are so often like the scared, angry little boy that Angel was when I first met him. We don’t trust God, we disobey him, and we are full of fear and doubt. But God loves us through our doubts with a patience that surpasses all understanding. He presses into our needs, loving and forgiving us even when we least deserve it. It is this kind of love that transforms our lives and makes us new. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”

When we love like Jesus loves, lives are transformed. Just as his love continues to transform us, when we act as the hands and feet of Jesus, miracles happen. So I pray, Lord, give us eyes to see people how you see them. Give us hearts to love them like you love them (especially when it’s most difficult to do so). We don’t deserve your love. We don’t deserve your forgiveness. You give it to us anyway. Help us to love people like that.