Day 343: Time for Reflection

As I near the end of my time here in Houston, I can't help but reflect on the million little beautiful moments I've experienced as a foster parent to the most amazing children I've ever known. They will probably never know it, but each one has changed my life for the better. Little by little, each tiny hand has molded me into a new person. I wish our paths would cross again. I wish I could tell them what their love has meant to me this past year. I wish I knew how they were doing. I wish, I wish, I wish...

Instead of wishing, I will give this burden to my loving Father in heaven. He goes before them always.

It is truly stunning when God gives you a small glimpse of His great power. Most of the time, I really don't understand what He's doing. I have questioned God more often than I care to admit. When my future looks uncertain, I foolishly let worry and fear into my life. As I reflect on this past year, I am so glad He doesn't allow us to see the future. If I saw the pain and frustration that I would undergo this year, I would have quickly said "No thanks, God!" and stayed right there in my happy little comfort zone. Can you imagine everything I would have missed?? Phew, I am so blessed to have a Father who knows me way better than I know myself.

Slowly but surely, it has become very clear to me why I was sent to Casa last year. In addition to caring for those sweet kids and learning so much about life from their joy and beauty, I believe it was His way of revealing His plan for my life. I believe He is calling me to dedicate my life to the "least of these". I will answer His call; I will look after orphans in their distress.

As I look forward to the next chapter of my life (so perfectly orchestrated by Him), I realize there are so many things I will miss about being a foster parent. I will miss waking up to the sweetest smiles and the happiest laughter. I will miss rocking babies to sleep, singing lullabies off-key, and tucking sleepy children into bed. I will miss reading stories and playing with play-doh. I will miss Disney movie nights and blowing kisses and playing dress-up. I will miss my sweet friends and fellow foster parents. Most of all, I will miss the beautiful, breath-taking, unconditional love of a child. I have never experienced anything so sweet and inspiring.

There are also a few things I will definitely not miss. Like this:

This is what laundry for 4 kids looks like. Everyday. I won't miss cleaning a million dishes, wiping milk off the floor, getting puked on, finding Dora cereal everywhere, and changing poopy diapers. But ya know what? I'd do it all again. I wouldn't take back a thing.

I have loved caring for these kids more than words can say. Thank you, Lord, for a truly unforgettable experience.

Jesus said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.” - Luke 12:22-23

Day 329: The Vineyard's Keeper

"I, the Lord, am the vineyard's keeper; every moment I water it. I guard it night and day so that no one can harm it." - Isaiah 27:3

My little man & his flip flops

We are His vineyard. He is our keeper. I am just a single vine in this great vineyard, but I have seen the power of His constant provision. I have seen it yield abundant fruit. 

Over and over again, I find joy in unexpected places. Today, I found joy on the bottom of baby D's feet. He got a kick out of those flip flops. I found joy on the swing. At the dinner table. In my room. It's everywhere. It's everywhere because He is everywhere. Often, I miss these blessings of joy. I miss them because I am not looking. I'm looking at the future, I'm looking at the past, I'm looking at the mess on the floor or the reflection in the mirror or the empty space in my wallet. I'm looking anywhere but up.

The Lord says that He is our keeper. He promises to guard us, night and day. "Every moment I water it." There is so much joy to be found in each moment, if only we let ourselves see it. If only we let ourselves drink from His abundant, unending supply of life-giving water. Let's put aside these earthly worries and open our eyes to the joy.