So much has happened since the last time I was able to update. Some good things, some bad things - all lessons from God. I just got back from being home in NY for a week. When talking to family and friends about my time in Houston, I tell them that it has been the best and worst experience of my life. I have learned so much about myself and about the world and about God's unfailing love. I have never been so stressed, confused, and sad. I have fallen in love with the most beautiful children. I have had to say goodbye.
This year has been much harder than I thought it would be. Taking care of children and loving them with all your heart takes so much out of you. I didn't realize it until I couldn't be with them anymore. I can only hope and pray that God will protect them; that my love for them wasn't in vain. Oh, how I love them.
The hardest part is that they're still here. They still live in this neighborhood and I can see them on the playground and still be in their lives for a little while longer. I know that's a blessing. I try to see it as such. But I'm not the one taking care of them - tucking them into bed, kissing them goodnight, making them breakfast. I live in a new house now with new kids who need me just as much. Maybe someday I'll understand God's plan behind all of this. Right now, I just ask Him to strengthen and guide me every day. I know there are so many things I need to learn from Him. I can feel Him teaching me. I can feel His peace.
Now, I focus on the five precious babies God has trusted me with. I see their smiling faces and know that by serving these beautiful kids, I am serving the Lord. How can I not rejoice?
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." - James 1:2-4
